IN THE SHADOWS OF MY MIND CHRONICLES:
I start every morning with my morning exercises and then prayer and meditation after my shower. There are times when it is mostly maintenance for a healthy mental and emotional balance and then there are days like I had this week. Let me first say, that like most, I am dealing with how to manage how I feel about everything that is going on at one time and my place in it all. There are times when it is hard for me to get my mind wrapped around the idea that the life that I knew BC (Before Covid) no longer exists and it saddens me deeply. Not because of the loss of stuff but because I sacrificed a lot to build the life that I was living/enjoying and now I'm starting all over from scratch. Add on the fact that I'm doing this with little to no human contact/comfort and doing all of this at my age...well it is a recipe for an emotional disaster. To balance this out, I have stepped up my meditation practice, and it has been very helpful. This past week I was really leaning in on my prayer for what I desired moving forward while also dealing with the disappointment of where I am, and the fear of the direction that the world is heading. While I was sage-ing my space and praying, the word Phoenix came to me. Now, being the person that I am who also cracks jokes in the midst of painful moments I thought to myself, "I wonder if this is how people come up with their special names like Moonchild and if that is the case I would like something cute like Black Unicorn." I know, smh but it is the truth and that is how my conversation with Spirit was unfolding. I was in pain trying to make light of a painful situation while something unfamiliar and uncomfortable happened during my prayer. Spirit completely sideswiped that thought and repeated Phoenix, totally ignoring my discomfort and seeing through my jokes doubled down and said Rising....Phoenix Rising. At that moment I knew that I had broken through to a place that not only did I need to be but my true being was located in this Sacred place. Since it was something that I wasn't completely familiar with and I wanted to make sure that it was a positive thing before repeating and accepting it, I did a google search. This is what I found.
When I saw this I couldn't help but cry. I shed tears of joy because I knew that the Spirit world heard me but not only that, they saw me. They see the cycle I have gone through throughout this life and the burden it has had on me. For this reason, it gave me strength through understanding so I can continue to give my best and move forward. (Side note: My life path number 8 has the same theme.) Keep moving forward and rising above. Sending virtual hugs!